By: Christy Hansen, LSCSW
Grief Support Specialist, Kansas City Hospice & Palliative Care (KCH)
“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” – Annie Dillard
Many of us know that by the time March rolls around, most of our New Year’s resolutions are as distant in the past as the holiday decor we’ve stowed away, and turkey dinners we shared with family and friends. Shifting the way we think about our goals and priorities can help us fill our lives with the things that mean the most to us, help us to move to the places we want to be, and to connect with the people who matter most in our lives.
Changing the way we set our goals and intentions for how we spend our time has the power to change our lives and add the meaning we crave to our days. It also has the power to allow us to be in charge of some of our hardest human emotions – when we create space for grieving, sorrow, and emotional stresses, it can allow us to be in the driver’s seat, instead of being surprised and overtaken by some of our hardest emotions.
Choosing weekly goals in a few categories can help fill our lives with what is most important to us, instead of feeling that life is overtaking us and we don’t have a choice in the matter. Research shows that setting SMART Goals gives us the best hope of achieving our goals. Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Time Bound. In short, doable goals that we can know if we’ve achieved them or not!
Think about these potential categories and goals you might have in each: relationships, health and wellness, nutrition, work, finances, physical space, spirituality, community. Then pick three you would like to focus on.
Some examples:
Health and Wellness – Get out for a walk three times this week
Relationship – Meet a friend for dinner during the weekend
Physical Space- Put away laundry on the same day it comes out of the dryer
Pick a time each week to set goals for that week – the beauty of doing this weekly, instead of just at the beginning of the year is that we can adjust to what is actually happening in our week. We can recognize getting outside for a walk in a week that has inches of snow predicted is unlikely, and adjust our physical activity goals accordingly. If we have a particularly busy work-week, such as many appointments planned, we can recognize it may not be the best to host a dinner we have to cook, but perhaps adjust and plan to meet a friend for coffee.
The best part of setting goals like this is that we are winning when we try, even if we fall a bit short. Did you set a goal for three walks in a week, but only got two? That’s two more than none! Did you plan to put away laundry the same day, but got it done the next day instead? Count that as a win! Remember, any small progress towards your goals is still progress!
Christy Hansen, LSCSW, KCH Grief Support Specialist
If you know you have a difficult anniversary or time that feels especially hard coming up, plan for this as well. The anniversary of the death of a loved one can throw us off for weeks in advance of the actual date – plan space in your life to honor this person, and the emotions you may be having. Light a candle, take a walk at their favorite park, cook a favorite dish, schedule dinner at a restaurant they loved with people you love. Creating space in advance to acknowledge the harder things in life helps us not be overtaken in the moment.
Adjusting our goals to fit our lives in any given week gives us power to thrive, but also helps us to make sure that we’re filling our lives with what is most important to us, not just reacting to circumstances as they come up. Give it a try this month, and see how you can fill your life with things/activities that are most important to you, proactively taking the initiative to fill your life with more joy and meaning.
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March is National Social Work Month and at Kansas City Hospice & Palliative Care (KCH), we celebrate! Our social workers provide compassionate care and support to a variety of complex patient and family needs. Christy Hansen recently presented Thriving: Mental Wellness Tips for a Year of Peace Ahead during our February 20, 2025 virtual KCH Community Education Series. We hope you will join us for one of our free monthly sessions!
Posted in In the Community, Kansas City Hospice, Voices of Care